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Intermediate. Years 7/8/9

The Broken Thoughts Of Charlie Kelly

By Maddy Pope, year 9, The Ladies’ College

The lights are too bright and
my mind is
muddled.
If the world would stop whirling
round
and
round,
then maybe I could have a second of silence.
A second
to breath.
Then I could sort through my thoughts,
piecing each fragment together
slowly,
carefully,
so that I don’t cut myself on each jagged blade
and…

“ Charlie?”

My eyes flutter open.
I blink away the darkness from the
corners
of my vision.
I had forgotten about my psychiatrist,
sitting before me
but
I guess
I forget a lot of things.

She does not mind that I drifted away;
it happens a lot.
As I once explained to her;
my mind is like a tidal wave
so I will not attempt to battle it
for it will always be stronger
than me.
When I told her that
she had laughed and exclaimed;
“Well, Charlie, you really are quite peculiar.”
To which I replied
“All the best people are.”

I wonder what Sarah thinks of me.
The boy with translucent skin,
crowned with dark hair that sits like a restless
ocean.
With purple tinged shadows
that
creep
across
his
face
and rest under churning
ice blue
eyes.
I wonder if she can see
the cracks
that run like veins across my face.
I wonder if she can see that I am broken.

I become aware of a
flickering light
above me;
it sends broken shards of light
across the room.

“There is something beautiful in the broken,”
I say,
staring at the ceiling.
“For a fractured soul
is far more
real
than a whole one
and broken glass is far more mesmerising
than a window.

We must tear
ourselves
apart,
before we can
fix each imperfection
that we never knew we had.”

We both stare
silently
as the light
flickers
out.

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